Please, do not attempt a gender reveal party without taking the proper safety precautions. Or maybe just … don’t do one at all.
The past two years have brought us multiple stories of people whose gender reveal parties have gone horribly wrong. Maybe the party started a forest fire. Maybe it caused a spectacular, deafening explosion.
Either way, they’ve been grievously dangerous. And while they’ve caused serious damage, they’ve also brought a small, perverse amount of pleasure to those of us in the anti-gender-reveal party camp.
Here are some of the most dangerous from the past few years.
1. The gender reveal party that resulted in a grandfather getting smacked in the face by a baseball
The next time you’re thinking of throwing a ball full of blue powder, please don’t aim it at grandpa.
2. The one where a young woman was smacked in the face by a ball
Maybe … just .. leave … baseballs … out … of … it?
3. The party that almost ended in an alligator chopping off someone’s arm
Earlier this year, Louisiana resident Mike Kliebert gave an alligator a melon full of blue Jell-o, which the alligator proceeded to chomp on, revealing Kliebert’s child to be a boy. It was a strong visual. I’m just not sure why folks can’t have a gender reveal party without exposing themselves to a deadly animal.
4. The party that resulted in a 47,000 acre wildfire
In April 2017, an off-duty Border Patrol agent set off fireworks in the grasslands of Arizona. The color of the fireworks was meant to reveal the gender of his baby, but instead they sparked a massive wildfire. The fire ultimately caused $8 million worth of damage and required 800 firefighters to get it under control.
If you’re thinking of having a gender reveal party, perhaps consider balloons instead of lethal explosives?
5. The party that caused one dad-to-be to break his ankle
He broke it while kicking a football full of pink powder. Ouch.
6. I’ll always have a special spot in my heart for the party that resulted in people screaming and running for their lives
Fireworks are once again to blame for the chaos at gender reveal party in Philadelphia in July. They were set off on top of a clothing drying rack, which surprisingly did not work well and instead sent fireworks spraying all over the place. “A few adults got hit but no serious injuries — just minor burns,” one partygoer said, encouragingly.
Just minor burns with this gender reveal party, folks!
7. This gender reveal party resulted in a fight over confetti at an Ohio Applebee’s
After guests at a gender reveal party released a confetti cannon in the parking lot of an Ohio Applebee’s, management asked them to clean up their mess. The guests refused and several of them retaliated by reportedly throwing menus at the hostess.
Isn’t childbirth magical?
The next time you’re thinking of having a gender reveal party, maybe just do it by … revealing the gender. Or better yet do nothing at all.
The world will somehow survive without blue and pink powder.